PostSecret – Happiness in Estrangement

Dear readers, since so many of you seem to come here to my blog because of a PostSecret post that I wrote all the way back in June, I thought I would post one more about this card that I saw this week:

PostSecret Estranged

Family estrangement is complicated. Most of the stories that I’ve heard about it, estrangement frequently starts with an argument over money. Sometimes it’s a disagreement of beliefs between old and new (i.e., relations-in-law) family members. Most of the time, the catalyst seems like a petty matter but is really a symptom of a larger conflict or a personal internal conflict.

A few years ago, I could not comprehend it. What’s the point? What could make someone so angry that they would never want to speak to a family member again? But the more I talk to people who have estrangement stories, the more I can understand why sometimes some people do feel better being estranged than in touch.

The problem is that life is short. So many people who become estranged from parents, grandparents, children, etc. are happy to be estranged – until that person dies. The conflict, which was once so powerful, had lost its power and feelings towards the person may have softened. But because of so many years gone by, and too many fears coming up about being the first one to approach the other to make amends, it is not resolved. The person remaining regrets not being able to say goodbye, I’m sorry, I love you, in person.

Right does not equal happy. You can choose right or happy, but not both. Right does not get you back to love. So, what do you choose?

Advertisements

2 responses to “PostSecret – Happiness in Estrangement

  1. Yeah, there are two ways of looking at estrangement.
    1) Life’s too short to cut off your family.
    2) Life’s too short to spend time with people who don’t make you happy.
    I think it depends on a lot of factors, including how all parties behave during the instigating incident, but I mostly believe in #1.

  2. Hello everybody, my name is Damion, and I’m glad to join your conmunity,
    and wish to assit as far as possible.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s